We all desire great marriages, right? If we are honest with each other, we know that marriage is work and at times can be absolutely difficult. However, after 23 year of marriage, I can tell you that somethings have been proven ways to improve your marriage and they work with little effort, but with great rewards.
10 Proven Ways to Improve Your Marriage
These ways are so easy to implement and really bring great results, quickly and they are fun doing them.
Ask Each Other About Your Day… AND then Listen to Each Other
The mundane of everyday can easily find a couple just walking through the routines without really talking about them. The dangers of this in a marriage can easily be understood when you realize that how we spend the majority of our day often times is how we relate or see ourselves. If we don't include the love of our life in the good, bad and ugly of our days, it is so easy to drift apart and believe that the other one doesn't have an interest in what you do for the largest part of your day.
Touch Base During the Day Just to Say I Love You
We all get busy with our to-do list and before you know it dinner time arrives and you realize that you haven't heard anything from your spouse. There is nothing like getting a call just to hear those special words “I love you” or “I'm thinking about you”. Even if it is a routine and not a spare of the moment kind of call, it is really important to know that your love one took a moment and was thinking of you, enough to drop what they were doing to just tell you something sweet.
Implement a Touch Rule
With four children, homeschooling, blogging, homemaking and everything else in our lives, including my husband's own crazy schedule that includes him working from home, it is so easy to be so distracted that we don't touch each other until late at night. Knowing that my love language is physical touch, it can easily become hurtful if my husband walks by me several times a day and never reaches for me. That is when I implemented a 3 feet rule at home. This rule is simple… ‘if you are in 3 feet of me, touch me'. It sounds silly but oh my goodness, it means the world to me to have my husband just reach out to acknowledge his love for me. His isn't 100% faithful in it and I wouldn't expect him to be, but it helps him to remember that I need his touches and treasure each one. It also helps to keep the romance alive outside of the bedroom!
Flirt With Each Other… OFTEN!
There are so many opportunities in a marriage to act like you did when you were falling in love. A wink across the table, sending a sweet text or a photo of you smiling, touching each other, whispering something sweet in their ear or leaving a love note where they will find it. The more you keep that alive in your marriage, the easier it is to overcome the obstacles that always arise.
Think on the Positive Things About Your Spouse
What makes your spouse AMAZING? Is he great at fixing things around the house, or helping in the kitchen? Does he keep the car clean, fueled and maintained so you don't have to worry about it? Does he play with the kids? Does he invest in your marriage? Is he a good friend? Whatever it is that makes you proud about your husband… THINK ABOUT THESE THINGS! Then don't miss this important step… TELL HIM! Praise him often and keep telling him. Make him (or her, men need to do this, too) secure in knowing that you see all the good things and that you love him for them.
(Print this graphic and frame it for a great way to focus on improving your marriage:
Improve Your Marriage Printable Image)
Bury the Past and Keep it There
This is the hardest thing to do for most people but is it one of these best ways to improve your marriage quickly, but leaving the past where it belongs… behind you. Trust me when I tell you that I have struggled with this in our own marriage, especially when trust was broken in our marriage, but our marriage is always improving when I have learned how to do this and fought the urge when dealing with a hurt feeling with my husband. When you do find that your marriage is struggling, you can help keep the past in the past by learning how to implement steps to fighting nicely.
Don't Talk Negatively About Each Other to Friends
There is a place in friendships where you can share about your marriage experience, but it should only be done when you have a positive result to share that you learned in the process to help encourage a friend that is struggling in their marriage. If you are the one struggling, you can share the truth of the situation but do it with only a person that desires to help you get through it and work to improve your marriage. Friends that let each other talk about their spouse and join in on the negative talk are not the kinds of friends that you really want to discuss important aspects of your marriage if you want to keep your vows, because they will only keep you from finding the positive.
Date Each Other Often
Dates are not only done out of the house, but can easily be done at home and at the spare of the moment. If you are able to sneak away from the home and get some alone time, you can easily find free or cheap things to do in your area, including a packed picnic and talking at a local park. Grab a Redbox movie and cuddle together after the kids go to bed. It can easily be done if you make it a priority.
Play with Each Other
Laughter is the best way to improve your marriage. Pillow fights, board games, chases around the house, hide and seek, food fights, hiding on each other to scare them, or just laughing together over a comedy (all some of our favorite ways to play with each other). There is just something about laughter and how it brings people together.
Memorize Scripture Together
As a Christian, scripture is so important to our home and there is nothing like memorized scripture to help you through a rough patch in your marriage. You may not have any idea of what are some good scriptures to memorize together, so you may find these post helpful: verses for wives and verses for families.