I sure have made some big mistakes as a mom, but I have also learned a lot and grown tremendously during my nearly nineteen years as a parent to four children. I would love to share with you the wisdom I have learned from my mistakes, in hope to save you from the same mistakes in your parenting.
Here are 7 Things that your kids need to hear you say:
- “I love you” – These three words should be the focus for how you relate to your children, regardless of their actions. I will never forget the time, many years ago, when I was talking with a friend over the phone and I heard her correct one of her children with “I love you but you can't do that.” I heard this come from her so many times after that and it really impressed me that in correction the first words were ‘I love you'. I have implemented that during correction, because of how scripture points out that ‘if a father loves his child, he will correct him ‘.
- “You are such a blessing” – Many times I hear parents saying things like, “I can't wait until you go back to school”, “How does your teacher deal with you all day long”, “You are so frustrating” or other things along these lines. Children are truly a blessing from the Lord and if we aren't expressing it with our own mouths, how are they going to believe this in their hearts?
- “I love it when you do that” – Our children need to hear when they do something that make us happy or that we really enjoy them doing. For me, I can listen to my children laugh all day long. There is nothing like a laughing child to me and my children know it! They also know that when they do something that isn't expected of them, that I appreciate it and noticed it. This is something they love to hear!
- “You can do that really well” – Each child has strengths, but they are more aware of their weaknesses. Making an effort to point out the gifts that our children have often resulted in the confidence they needed to overcome their personal weaknesses and find triumph with these struggles.
- “I had the same problem when I was young or even now” – Most of our children's behaviors, habits and struggles are taught from one or both of the parents. Identifying the issues that you have that your child may struggle with is a great way for them to feel human and capable of changing. It's also is a great way to demonstrate humility to your children when you admit to struggling with the same issues and trying to work on them together.
- “What a GREAT job” – Praise is something that we mostly hold for competitions, but we all desire it in most of the areas in our lives. Praising our children at a young age will give them the confidence to do their best and to know that in doing so, it matters to others, as well.
- “Forgive me, I was wrong” – As I mentioned before, humility goes a long way. Admitted that you were wrong in little or big things and asking forgiveness, even to the youngest of children, will be a lesson in self-accountability. When a parent is quick to demonstrate these words, it makes it easier for the child to learn.
Which of these 7 things do you think would make the most impact on your relationship with your children?
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